What is hypergamy, and why is it good for you?

What does hypergamy mean?

Hypergamy is a form of social mobility, where a person dates or marries someone who has a higher status, more financial resources, or a better education.

Female hypergamy is simply a woman’s proclivity to date, marry or mate with the ‘best partner’ she can find. The logic behind it is very simple, and it’s one fundamental truth of nature: a partner with a higher socioeconomic status has the ability and/or the willingness to invest more resources in the family’s well-being and the future offspring. Therefore, this kind of partner is more attractive in the framework of natural selection.

Denying the existence of female hypergamy only means denying an aspect of human nature. 

Hypergamy in the past

Mating has always been a complicated and risky business for women. Pregnancy is a huge investment of time and resources, so it’s only natural that women want to get the best partner for themselves. Sometimes the best partner has certain genetic traits they find desirable, enough material resources to provide for her and her children, compatibility, or possesses the best, most loyal personality to their standards. 

Historically, women have been forced to depend on men for security, stability, and resources. For centuries, women simply didn’t have any other option than to rely on a ‘good marriage’. With no access to proper education, they were deprived of all means to become financially independent, stripped of any legal rights, and had little or no agency over their own welfare. Women HAD to marry well to secure a good future for themselves and their children.

Hypergamy for women was not a choice – it was a necessity.

Hypergamy today

To modern feminists, hypergamy might seem a contradiction. The gender revolution made women financially independent, highly educated, and self-sufficient. Women today, with their own paychecks, bank accounts, credit cards, and properties, may even choose not to marry or mate at all, and nobody would raise any eye.

 Deep down, women’s nature has not changed, and all women, across all socioeconomic strata, seek out hypergamy to some degree. Even the highly-credentialed alpha females! We now know that hypergamy isn’t just about financial status. 

Just think about Megan Markle, a very successful actress and activist who married royalty. Or Amal Alamuddin, a stunning and accomplished barrister devoted to human rights, who ended up with George Clooney, one of the most desirable American actors of all times. Successful, educated, and accomplished women are naturally prone to look for their definition of the ‘best partner.’ This behavior is not just concerning the heteronormative. It can also be observed in women and their relationship to dating individuals in the LGBTQIA+ community. 

In one of the most famous studies on the subject, Yue Qian compared American couples in 1980 and 2012 and found that women’s tendency to marry down in terms of education decreased, their tendency to marry up in terms of financial resources and income persisted. In fact, women with the same or higher education than their partners were the ones more likely to practice hypergamy. 

Extensive research around human mate choice also reveals that women are more selective when it comes to marriage and mating. They value socioeconomic status as one of the main factors at play, followed by ambition and a hard-working attitude. This may suggest that women are not attracted to wealthy partners per se but also to behaviors and attitudes that can lead to acquiring power, resources, and status. Therefore, qualities such as drive, strength, intelligence, and industriousness are all highly valued by most hypergamous women. 

Why is hypergamy good for you?

As wild natural women, you seek certain genetic traits to pass on and abundant resources to provide for your families and children. That’s the reason why most women are attracted to certain people who have a high socioeconomic status or at least the willingness to work hard and reach ambitious goals. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! 

Evolution shaped women to be hypergamous because it’s good for them and our species. Many women may also see hypergamy as a form of self-prioritization. If their partners are in charge of providing a sense of security, protection, and care, they can let go of their ‘carry it all’ attitude to explore their most exquisite feminine qualities and tap into their nurturing side. They can rest in their femininity. 

Finally, hypergamy today is not strictly focused on resources, education, and status. Many women simply want a partner who can be a leader and take the initiative, who has ambition and charisma. Self-confidence, honesty, and the ability to accept insecurities and manage emotions are also a big turn-on for some women, who perceive sensitive partners as better equipped to provide them with both emotional and material safety. 

Final thoughts

Choosing hypergamy doesn’t mean that you’ll sacrifice your values and morals over material resources and status. It doesn’t mean that you should give up your financial independence and wait patiently for your prince charming. That’s an old narrative that doesn’t serve modern women.

Hypergamy today means the freedom to choose what’s best for you. It means that you’re in control because you decide what your standards are and who you want to let into your life.

Making hypergamy one of your requirements when dating will not only get you access to a better standard of living but it will also help to improve your sex and love life. By screening potential partners who do not fit the bill, you’ll have fewer heartbreaks and disappointments, and you won’t waste precious time chasing people who are not willing to invest in you and the relationship. Not all women are hypergamous, and some women switch from hypergamy to hypogamy. The discussion of hypogamy is another topic for another blog.

At Fusion Movement, we believe in Female Primacy, and we support women’s choice of practicing hypergamy. Wanting the best for you is just another way to express your self-worth and control over your life. We respect that and encourage you to explore all the ways you can assert yourself as the alpha woman you are.

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