Sex is not just about orgasm; it’s about pleasure. Do you think orgasm and pleasure are the same thing? Then, let us introduce you to a kinky practice called ‘Orgasm Denial’.
What is Orgasm Denial?
It’s the practice of intentionally refraining from orgasm. It can involve one partner ordering the other not to orgasm or taking the power to control their orgasm (with prior consent, of course!). It’s like a pleasurable game, where you can bring your partner or be brought by them to high states of arousal without reaching the climax.
How does it work?
The human sexual response cycle is made up of 4 stages:
- Excitement – your muscles get tense, the heart rate quickens, and breathing is accelerated.
- Plateau – an increased amount of blood flows to your genitals, intensifying the arousal.
- Orgasm – rapid contractions of the genitals that get you to the peak of pleasure.
- Resolution – your organs and bodily functions come back to their relaxed state.
Orgasm Denial usually starts in the excitement stage, with some teasing and light restrains to test the boundaries of your sexual power and turn your partner on. But it’s when you reach the plateau that this practice gets even more fun. Your partner is flooded with oxytocin and other feel-good chemicals and starts losing control over their body. That’s the moment when you can slow it down or stop all stimulation and leave them hanging there, longing for more but not being allowed to have it.
You can deny the orgasm for as much as you both like. It could be just a few minutes, days, or weeks. It all depends on you. You can even set a specific time at which your partner is allowed to orgasm or choose a code word that, when used, will signal that your partner has had enough and they’re now ready to come.
Orgasm Denial is very easy to incorporate and can add a bit of spice to your sexual life, introducing some punishment-reward play or different control dynamics. And the beauty of this sexual practice is that it works with any partner, no matter their gender and orientation!
Types of Orgasm Denial.
There are many ways and degrees of practicing Orgasm Denial.
1. The beginner version is teasing. You can arouse your partner, take them to the brink of the orgasm, then stop and keep teasing them until YOU decide to allow them to orgasm. This method is known as Edging (more about it later).
2. Another way of doing it is to not deny your partner their orgasm but decide how they can get to it. For example, you could deny them touching their genitals and allow them to come only by nipple stimulation or another kind of stimulation that usually does not lead them to orgasm that easily. Whether or not they can climax, this little experimentation can help them explore their body and enjoy other erogenous zones.
3. Another way of practicing Orgasm Denial is by drawing out the sex until specific tasks or sexual acts are performed. For example, you could allow your partner to orgasm only if they make you come through oral sex first. This increases your control over their pleasure and makes the sexual game more exciting for both.
4. Then, there’s bondage-assisted denial, which involves the use of gentle restrains to increase the feeling of surrender and powerlessness. Remember to discuss the use of any restrain beforehand with your partner and choose a safe word.
5. Finally, one of the most extreme types of Orgasm Denial is the use of chastity devices, like penis cages or chastity belts. In this practice, you own your partner’s pleasure completely.
Why practice Orgasm Denial?
It can spice up your sexual life and serve as a means to get some control back in the sexual game. It can be used as a way to explore your pleasure deeper and be present in the moment without focusing too much on the orgasm. Orgasm Denial can also strengthen your intimacy and connection with your partner and make your orgasm much more intense and mind-shattering when you’re finally allowed to come.
Orgasm Denial and Edging are a natural combination that will multiply the pleasure, whether you’re playing solo or with a partner. Both practices tap into the feelings and sensations preceding the orgasm, but during Orgasm Denial, the climax may never occur; during Edging, it’s just delayed.
Edging is, in fact, an orgasm control technique where you can get yourself or your partner to the brink of orgasm, then slow down or stop stimulation, wait and resume the buildup over and over again. This practice can make sex last longer, extend and intensify the orgasm.
- Start-stop is the easiest and most known method to practice Edging. It consists of taking your partner (or yourself) to the brink of the orgasm, stopping all stimulation, waiting around 30 seconds, then starting again. As simple as that!
- Instead of stopping the stimulation right before you’re about to orgasm, you can also try to slow down or touch another part of the body. This will cool things down without losing sexiness.
- Tantric sex is all about Edging, too. When trying this technique, focus on your breath, move very slowly and intentionally, and connect yourself with the sexual energy that moves up and down your body and between you and your partner. Tantric sex, when done well, can give you the most overwhelming full-body orgasm of your life, trust us.
These techniques will work with people of any gender and sexual orientation.
If your partner owns a penis and you want them to completely surrender to you through Edging, you can try these other techniques:
- The squeeze technique is quite effective for people with penises. This involves stopping stimulation and squeezing the head of the penis for about 30 seconds to inhibit the orgasm, then resuming. Everyone has different sensitivity levels, so be careful when practicing this technique and always use a safe word.
- The scrotum action, where you reach between your partner’s legs and firmly, but gently, wrap your thumb and forefinger around their scrotum in a loop to prevent ejaculation. Yes, you’re basically holding them by their balls!
- Take control and get into a sex position where you can dictate the pace and depth of their pleasure.
Benefits of Edging
When practiced solo, Edging is a great way to learn more about how your body works, what turns you on, and how to take control over your own pleasure. It’s also a good way to keep your mind focused on the moment.
Also, the orgasm gap is real! According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, men last around 5.4 minutes during penetrative sex, while women need approximately 13 minutes to reach their climax. Edging can help men improve their stamina and get both partners to sync. OMGYes has also reported that 66% of women who practice Edging have longer and more intense orgasms. Is that reason enough to try? We think, YES!
Some people may experience less powerful orgasms than usual or not be able to reach the orgasm altogether after Edging. This could happen when you’re still practicing. You need to take time and keep an open mind to find the right moment when to stop. There’s a moment, called the point of no return, when arousal meets orgasm. It’s important that you learn to understand your body and your partner’s body and find the cues that signal you when to stop. Usually, it happens when the breath becomes sharper, and the attention is all focused on the genitals.
As they say, practice makes perfect, so what are you waiting for?!
Edging may seem challenging at first, but it’s also exhilarating to stand on the edge and feel your pleasure grow and grow until you finally decide to go and enjoy the extra intensity of the orgasm.
Fusion Movement wants to celebrate women’s sexuality in all its splendor and encourage women to explore their pleasure and take control over it.
Women’s sexual energy is powerful, yet warm and welcoming. Learn to use it, and the whole world will bend to your whim.
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